Update: Two minutes after publishing this post, a little red-headed girl, no more than 3, came up to me and asked me to help her zip her jacket. Her brother and sister watched protectively, but after a few minutes, all of us were making faces and doing silly dances in the middle if a busy coffee shop. Isn't it funny how things turn out that way? Definitely the highlight of the weekend.
***
I was filled with a flood of conflicting and intense emotions as my vellum ink pen touched the cardstock. The deep sea of grief, the depth of loss, a swelling heart of gratitude, and a gentle weariness filled my being.
As I finished the last sentence and signed my name, I looked at the faces around me. The concerned tones, the joyful laughs, the giggling of a little girl looking at a picture book. All whilst feeling and breathing through each and every sentence, I wore a face of focus and a light smile.
No one here knows I wrote a thank you letter. That I wrote it to thank a special someone for his support during a dark time; a time in my life when cancer took someone I loved. No one. All this pain and love, hidden behind a smile.
In perspective, what are these fine coffee purveyors hiding behind a laugh and a smile? What thoughts and love, goals and challenges lie in these people's lives?
It was such an interesting perspective to think about. I'm going to let it permeate and radiate to those I share life with today. It gives me a moment to pause and feel a deep compassion for everyone out there, rather than solely focusing on my grief.
Overall, people are fascinating, as in the way we hold ourselves around others, even our loved ones. For those out there hiding something, anything, behind a smile--I'm thinking of you today.
Love and Well-Wishes with Each Breath,
al
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